I am not a big fan of recruiters…and not just because they abuse exclamation points!!! One small part of why my dislike of recruiters is growing is the awkward, inappropriate language they use in emails to candidates like me.  A small sampling and my commentary is below.

• Hope you are doing in the best of the mood!!

Thanks friend.  If you were honest you probably really hope that I am doing in the worst of mood, desperate for a job…so desperate that I would work for an organization that would contract with your organization to fill a position.

• If the position interests you kindly revert as soon as possible with the atest resume, and expected rate.

Kindly revert?  To what? infanthood?  a less skilled version of myself?  Also, spell check is helpful.

• Hope you are having a great time ! ! !  If you feel a perfect match for the below requirement please forward me your most updated resume with the best rate and the contact information. 

I hope I am having a great time too ! ! !  The best rate is $1,000,000,000/second.  Still interested?

• Our success is result of our philosophy of sharing most of bill rate with consultants so that people who make it happen get most of it.

Awesome philosophy.  I think the people who make “it” happen should get most of the money.  Wait.  Do you mean the people who define your philosophy get the money? or the consultants?  They both can’t get most of bill rate.  I’m confused.

• Hope you are doing well !!!   have a good position for you with my client; This point of time I don’t know whether you are looking for new job or not.But just thought if I can share the details and then confirm from you about your interest level for the opportunity.if you are interested and available consultant,send me your most  updated resumes in word format and contact details.

The punctuation! capitilization;   and    spacing are so weird !!!  can’t take serious

• I hope you had a good holiday season. Now back to work.

Who are you to tell me to get back to work?  You get back to work.  I’m going to play some Mario Kart.

Two stupid emails I received recently amused me not because of their content but because they were sent by different people who are on opposite ends of the Democrat/Republican continuum within minutes of each other.  The first is an open letter to “red states” a term I HATE.

Dear Red States:

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us.  In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. It may even include Florida and Ohio, they are seriously considering it. We’ve given them until Nov. 4th to decide. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country. Since we’re dropping the middle states we’re calling it United America, or simply the U.A.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. You can take Ted Nugent. We’re keeping Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel. You get WorldCom. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Ole’ Miss.  We get Harvard and 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms, and the highest concentration of pregnant unwed teenagers. Please be aware that the U.A. will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens  back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, really we do, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire. We’d rather spend it on taking care of sick people, and educating our children.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy Redies believe you are people with higher morals then we Bluies..

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

While the first email appeals to the inner elitist and attempts to make you feel better than the idiots who live in “red states”, the goal of the second email is equally opposite and despicable: to scare you into hating those welfare-loving democrats!  Here it is:

HOW LONG DO WE HAVE? This is the most interesting thing I’ve read in a long time.  Found it in my old files. The sad thing about it, you can see it coming. I have always heard about this democracy countdown. It is interesting to see it in print. God help us, not that we deserve it.  Reed and heed and, if you are young enough, you will see it self-destroy.

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the  University  of  Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the  Athenian  Republic  some 2,000 years earlier:

‘A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.’

‘A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.’ (We’re getting there fast)

‘From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.’

‘The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years’

‘During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. from bondage to spiritual faith;

2. from spiritual faith to great courage;

3. from courage to liberty;

4. from liberty to abundance;

5. from abundance to complacency;

6. from complacency to apathy;

7. from apathy to dependence;

8. from dependence back into bondage’

Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election: (Notice that it was 2000)

Number of States won by: Democrats: 19 Republicans: 29

Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000 Republicans: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by: Democrats: 127 million Republicans: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Democrats: 13.2 Republicans: 2.1 (take note)

Professor Olson adds:  ‘In aggregate, the map of the territory Republican won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country. Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare…’ Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the ‘complacency and apathy’ phase of Professor Tyler’s definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation’s population already having reached the ‘governmental dependency’ phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million invaders called illegal’s and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than ten years.

If you are in favor of this, then by all means, delete this message. If you are not, then pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE

The film is the brainchild of Justin Dillon, a musician who learned about human trafficking while traveling in Russia with his band.  As he became more educated about the issue he felt called to respond.  What started as benefit concerts evolved into the musical documentary that features influential activists, statespersons, leaders of non-profit organizations and musicians all committed to raising awareness about the “world’s 27 million most terrifying secrets”.

When it comes to slavery I had some preconceived notions, mostly that it is a thing of the past, only prevalent in third world countries, and used to oppress a particular ethnic group.  I was deeply disturbed to learn that there are more slaves today than there have been at any other point in history, that there are slaves all over the world and that slave owners are more interested in money than oppression.  Human trafficking is big business: it is fast growing and wildly profitable.  Human beings are treated like commodities similar to weapons and drugs.  Among other things slaves are used as prostitutes in the sex trade, soldiers in wars and free laborers in many industries.

The sex trade is a large part of the problem.  Young boys and girls are tricked or sold into networks of pimps or brothel owners.  That there is even a market for sex with children absolutely disgusts me.  My visceral reaction is a desire for a violent end to the johns who make the business profitable.  Toward the end of the movie Glenn Phillips sang the Radiohead song Exit Music (for a film) and as he whaled the final lines “We hope that you choke, that you choke.” I found myself nodding and wishing for a swift and final judgment.  The Call + Response website has 33 better suggestions for how to respond here.

Yesterday morning I flipped over my mountain bike’s handlebars about a half mile from my house as I was making a turn to go up a short, steep hill. I was wearing a helmet. No broken bones, just two broken teeth, a sore neck and some scrapes…and a bruised ego.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened.  The front tire of my bike needs a little air and I felt it wasn’t turning properly as I was rounding the turn so I applied the brakes.  I must’ve braked too hard, especially the front brake because as I was braking I went over the handlebars and face-planted into the pavement.  I was obviously shook up after I hit the pavement but immediately stood up to make sure no cars were coming.  A car did slowly approach and the driver put down his window and asked if I was ok as I stumbled to the side of the road and spit out a couple of broken teeth and a mouthful of blood.  I said “I don’t know” which was all he needed to hear in order to feel it was fine to drive off.  I picked up my bike which seems fine and walked it home.

When I got home I went right to the bathroom to assess the damage.  I was pretty upset when I saw my reflection and noticed the damaged teeth.

It definitely could have been a lot worse; I’m thankful I was wearing a helmet and that I was able to walk home.  My wife called my dentist, a friend from church, to ask what to do about my teeth.  He was out of town camping with his kids but scheduled an appointment to see me that afternoon.  I did not feel it was necessary to go to the hospital because no wounds were deep and I didn’t feel any concussion symptoms, nor did I suspect any broken bones.  My wife and dentist disagreed, however, so as a precaution my wife drove me to the hospital.  If you’re going to get hurt in Atlanta, apparently Saturday morning is the time to do it. I was seen right away and in and out of the hospital in less than an hour.  Everything checked out ok; the PA from the ER prescribed 800mg Ibuprofen and a muscle relaxer to help with my sore neck.

Later in the afternoon a temporary repair was done on my teeth.  My four top front teeth are all cracked and in danger of needing root canals.  I already had a root canal on one of the teeth earlier this year.  For now, I am waiting to see how the nerves respond.  I am very fortunate to have such a caring, responsive dentist.  The most pain I felt was on the gum next to my front tooth where a nerve was near the surface.  Any time air or water touched the area I was in pain. Having it covered made me feel much better.  That said, any type of chewing still causes me discomfort so please let me know if you have any good soup/purée recipes as I’m on a super soft food diet for the next few days.

A day later

There are more photos on the photos page

Yesterday I returned from a week-long missions trip to Guatemala.  I went with a group from my church to serve Hope for Guatemala/Esperanza para Guatemala, an organization started by Guatemalan Jose Armas that works to bring life and hope to one of the most dangerous zones in Guatemala City by physically and spiritually nourishing its people, especially its children.  We were supported financially and prayerfully by family, friends, neighbors and our church family.  The team joked that ‘what happens in Guate stays in Guate’ so you will be spared some of the more sordid details of our trip.  Flexibilidad was the theme of the week.  From the first team meeting in April, the team of 11 was told to expect the unexpected and that encouragement continued after our arrival from the Hope staff.

My first taste of the unexpected came mid-day Saturday shortly after our arrival on the ride from the airport to Tina’s condo where we would stay for the week.  Traffic was wild.  Eight people rode with Tina in an an early 1990s Chevy Suburban; the other three folks rode with Jose in a pick-up truck that also had our luggage.  When trying to picture the scene discard any convention you may hold about driving and rules.  We, and many others, drove the wrong way on one-way roads, we drove on shoulders, we made right turns from the left lane and left turns from the right lane.  I never thought we were going to die, but I never really felt like we were going to make it to our destination without a wreck. ..which actually turned out to be true.  We lost a part of our runner and tire guard after turning right basically on top of another vehicle that was sitting in a blind spot. I was in the front passenger seat and definitely should have said something but was shocked into silence while absorbing the surrounding madness.  Jose was about 100 yards in front of us when we crunched the car.  He immediately hopped out of his car and ran on a dead sprint to the scene and then played negotiator.  Everything wrapped up in less than five minutes without the involvement of the policia or anyone else and no exchanging of information.  C’est la vie.

Monday morning we arrived at the ministry center in zone 18, about a 45 minute drive from Tina’s condo, around 8 am with two teams: a construction team and a Vacation Bible School (VBS) team.  Besides a few fruit-bearing trees and a cute mural painted on the front of the center, there isn’t much to appease the senses.  The area reeks of urine, the air is filthy, and the landscape is littered with tin shacks and unfinished cement tenements.  There is little to no grass or vegetation in this the land of eternal spring.  It is all a bit much to take in and think esperanza.  The staff has a vision though and there is hope.  As part of the construction team I: helped construct shelving for a storage room; painted; let Calvin (el niño) stand on my shoulders in order to change a ligh bulb in a stairwell; and helped begin construction of a wall that will close off the open air third floor.  One of the coolest things I experienced while working on this team was the camaraderie and selflessness of our team and the Hope staff.  From day one we worked together well and really bonded.  The work was difficult because we had outdated tools and materials and we lacked knowledge but we didn’t discuss such things.  We simply got to work and did what we could and the results were good.  The idiom that familiarity breeds contempt is disproved.  One particular moment I cherished was when I was outside drilling holes in a rusted metal rod that would be used to support the bookshelf.  I was getting a little frustrated because things weren’t moving as fast as I’d like when I heard the voices of the children singing loudly the songs our VBS team had practiced in the weeks leading up to our trip.  It was the elixir I needed to recenter.

If there was any doubt about whether I should have gone, it was erased the first day.  I was pulled away from construction twice: once to consult with Shanna, the missionary who is responsible for storing information about the children and their families, about how to store their data; and the second time to join a gringos vs Guatemaltecos soccer match.  Computers and soccer, hardly my idea of sacrifice–even if we did lose and it was kind of my fault.

Each Tuesday two or three Hope staff go to a large market and gather produce to use to prepare meals for the 170 or so children who depend on Hope for a meal each weekday, and to distribute to families.  I was lucky enough to be asked to go with Brandon, a missionary who has been serving Hope with his wife for the last 11 months, to gather this week’s produce.  The picture at the top of this post is me at the market with one of the vendors who donates food.  Jose began going to the market a few years ago to ask for donations.  He has cultivated relationships with many of the vendors who have in turn become increasingly generous.  Much of the financial support for Hope comes from US based donors, but the food comes from Guatemaltecos.  The children and families of Hope are supported by Guatemalans and Americans alike.  It is a beautiful thing.

All the food in the trailer was donated by Guatemalan wholesalers.  The market is part of Hope’s ministry as well.  Brandon prayed for a few sick folks we encountered.  Even the vendors who didn’t give this week asked about Jose and the ministry and really seemed invested.

Wednesday and Thursday were special days for the children of Hope.  We took a younger group to the Guatemala City zoo on Wednesday and then planned to go to a park.  Unfortunately the weather did not cooperate and we had to head back to the ministry center after trying to wait out the rain.  What could have been a time of disappointment actually turned into a special moment.  Even with the rain, the kids were so joyful and happy.  With unbridled enthusiasm they praised God in song with rousing renditions of the songs the VBS team practiced.

This is Heidi.  She is one of the five children who walked around with me Tuesday and then sang so enthusiastically on the bus.  She has 11 brothers and sisters, several whom go to the ministry center daily and get a warm meal and love and guidance.

Thursday we took the older group, mostly teenagers, to the zoo and then bowling.  Most of the kids had never been bowling before.  Three of the four boys in my group learned quickly.  The fourth never seemed to grasp the concept; at one point during the second game he bowled six consecutive gutter balls.  He still had fun though.  I struggled the first game and actually almost lost to a couple of the kids.  I told the other gringo in my group that if I lost to one of the Guatemaltecos that I would walk back to Atlanta directly from the bowling alley.  Fortunately I persevered and pulled out the win even without my A game.  I don’t think the children even noticed the scores.  Everyone was pulling for one another.  I loved hearing our group leader Laura’s group chanting the name of each bowler as she approached the pins.  Lah ooh rah! Lah ooh rah!  We all had a blast.

Friday was the last day we went to the ministry center.  I painted while some others worked on constructing the third floor wall.  After VBS and serving lunch we said goodbye to the children and to zone 18.  We headed to Antigua–the city in Guatemala, not the island–and spent the afternoon shopping and strolling around before returning to Guatemala City to have a nice, farewell dinner with the Hope staff.

For a week’s work I am happy with what we accomplished.   I am still processing my feelings.  Our leaders did a great job preparing us for what we would witness so it wasn’t overwhelming.  It was nice to share in the kids’ lives and to share experiences with them that they would not normally be able to enjoy.

Desensitization effective for women with metronidazole hypersensitivity

http://www.sleepreviewmag.com/reuters_article.asp?id=20080430clin005.html

From the article:

“CDC currently recommends either the IV or oral desensitization protocols that are reproduced in the paper,” Donna J. Helms from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Atlanta, Georgia told Reuters Health. “These are both also referenced in the 2006 STD Treatment guidelines (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. MMWR 2006;55:No.RR-11:52-53).”

Helms and her colleagues investigated the effectiveness of the metronidazole desensitization protocols as well as the alternatives to nitroimidazoles for the treatment of trichomonas infection in women with suspected metronidazole hypersensitivity.

After the specialist confirmed that I did indeed need a root canal, he stuck a bite guard in my mouth and told me that often the hardest part about the procedure is keeping the mouth open wide for an extended period of time. He said the procedure was similar to a filling and many patients fall asleep in the middle of it. I haven’t had a filling in about 15 years and the guy who did it my family nicknamed Dr Hurt, so although my dentist today didn’t know it, comparing the impending procedure to a filling was pretty terrifying…and at no time in the past when receiving a filling was I ever close to nodding off. Dr Hurt earned his reputation. He once told me to raise my arm when the pain was getting unbearable and then after I raised my arm the first time proceeded to tell me to put my arm down, that I needed to be willing to bear a little pain. That said, I like to think I’m pretty tough so I played it cool.

Next came a topical treatment. While it was being applied the dentist asked if I live near Emory since I had told him my wife and I moved to Atlanta so she could go to graduate school there. Not sure if he expected a response in sign language or he can interpret English spoken from a pried open mouth, but I managed to get out “Hih-uh, neeaah heeah.” He had no problem deciphering the meaning, saying “Ah, the North Buckhead, Sandy Springs area or whatever they’re calling it this week.” Not exactly, but I would’ve grunted in agreement if he named a city within 50 miles of my house so as to avoid any other attempt at conversation. The dentist got the hint and moved on to the local anesthesia administered by needle. He warned me with the famous “ok, now a little pinch”. It hurt like a son of a gun. Then he moved to the back of the mouth and apologized saying the next stick would hurt even more. True. As the last two or three shots were given tears welled up in my eyes and started to make their way down the sides of my face. I felt like a class-A wuss. But no joke, it hurt. Almost immediately the pain from the sticks subsided and the demo began.

The dentist broke out his drill, mini circular saw and other dastardly tools that he used to presumably dig a canal in tooth #8. Fortunately the assistant had equipped me with protective glasses because throughout the morning my face was being coated with what I pictured was shrapnel as sounds that ranged from the work of chainsaws and circular saws to the communication between R2-D2 and C-3PO emanated from my mouth. I wished I had asked how long the procedure was going to take but then realized I had no way to tell how much time had passed. I was in a vacuum, not terribly uncomfortable but definitely not even considering a little nappy. Eventually the work was done and a new X-ray was taken. The new canal looked pretty darn good. Now I am in the recovery stage. The anesthesia has not worn off so I am feeling a bit like Kramer in The Jimmy episode without the silly shoes.

“You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.” Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Little stings me more than the realization that I am so easily satirized by sites like http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/, a website just a few months old that boasts nearly 8 million hits. Tyler Durden could be the site’s author or inspiration. Since January it has listed 81 things that white people like and then a brief explanation why or how they came to like them. The 80th thing listed is The Idea of Soccer. I visited the site after hearing it mentioned for the third time in the past week and just after I had set my status on facebook to ‘Andrew loves champions league football’. The 81st and most recent entry is Graduate School; though business school isn’t specifically mentioned, I am in my last semester of graduate school. In skimming the 79 other things that white people like, I found that I was able to split them into three categories: stuff that makes me defensive; salient stuff that I can laugh at other white people for liking; and completely ironic. Do you know which category is which?

Category 1

• #78 Multilingual Children
• #77 Musical Comedy
• #76 Bottles of Water
• #72 Study Abroad
• #71 Being the only white person around
• #69 Mos Def
• #63 Expensive Sandwiches
• #57 Juno
• #51 Living by the Water
• #46 The Sunday New York Times
• #45 Asian Fusion Food
• #44 Public Radio
• #42 Sushi
• #41 Indie Music
• #40 Apple Products
• #39 Netflix
• #36 Breakfast Places
• #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
• #34 Architecture
• #8 Barack Obama
• #4 Assists
• #30 Wrigley Field
• #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
• #25 David Sedaris
• #19 Traveling
• #12 Non-Profit Organizations
• #14 Having Black Friends
• #10 Wes Anderson Movies

_______________________________________________________

Category 2

• #79 Modern Furniture
• #75 Threatening to Move to Canada
• #74 Oscar Parties
• #68 Michel Gondry
• #65 Co-Ed Sports
• #60 Toyota Prius
• #59 Natural Medicine
• #58 Japan
• #54 Kitchen Gadgets
• #52 Sarah Silverman
• #61 Bicycles
• #38 Arrested Development
• #37 Renovations
• #24 Wine
• #3 Film Festivals
• #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
• #1 Coffee
• #6 Organic Food
• #5 Farmer’s Markets
• #53 Dogs
• #47 Arts Degrees
• #43 Plays
• #33 Marijuana
• #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
• #31 Snowboarding
• #49 Vintage
• #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
• #29 80s Night
• #28 Not having a TV
• #27 Marathons
• #23 Microbreweries
• #22 Having Two Last Names
• #21 Writers Workshops
• #17 Hating their Parents
• #16 Gifted Children
• #15 Yoga
• #11 Asian Girls
• #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
• #13 Tea

_______________________________________________________

Category 3

• #73 Gentrification
• #70 Difficult Breakups
• #67 Standing Still at Concerts
• #66 Divorce
• #64 Recycling
• #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
• #56 Lawyers
• #55 Apologies
• #50 Irony
• #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
• #18 Awareness
• #7 Diversity