After reading the hilarious NYT op-ed called Memo to the Dept. of Magical Copyright Enforcement that provided excerpts from various “Harry Potter” counterfeits that have been circulating in China in the last few years, I began to think of what other comedy and opportunities I’m missing out on by not being able to read and write the appropriate Chinese language and dialect. My favorite of the eight counterfeits listed in the op-ed is called Harry Potter and the Waterproof Pearl. Here is an excerpt:
With the help of Gandalf and Peter, Harry Potter and the Little Warriors find the sea city in the desert. They go through a keyhole into a mysterious land, where they get gold armor and kill the head of the monsters. On their triumphant return, Hermione disappears. Dumbledore tells Harry that Hermione has been kidnapped by a monster. With help from his friends, Harry obtains the waterproof pearl. To rescue Hermione, Harry barges into the Dragon Palace alone to have a showdown with the Dragon King.
I think I could write a pretty good Harry Potter story by borrowing JK Rowling’s characters and pairing them with famous characters of past literature or plopping them into classic kids’ books.
Some ideas I’ve kicked around.
- Harry Potter and the Giant Peach
- Harry Potter and Ham or Green Eggs and Harry Potter
- Harry Potter and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
- Goodnight Harry Potter
- Oh, the Places Harry Potter Will Go
- The Old Man and Harry Potter or Harry Potter and the Sea
- Down and Out in Hogwarts and London
- Brave New Harry Potter
- To Kill a Harry Potter
- Crime and Harry Potter or Harry Potter and Punishment
But alas, the ball and chain of copyright law is depriving the world of such “inspired creativity” shall I call it…so for us lowly humans not Chinese-literate, we’ll have to be satisfied with the 3500 pages or so that JK Rowling graced us with.